Which of the Different Parenting Styles Do You Use?
“There are a bunch of different parenting styles and which one you use may be the answer to why your kids behave the way they do.”
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Identifying which of the styles of parenting you use is the first step to understanding and possibly improving the way your children act.
There are four types of parenting styles and many parents often find they use a combination of three of them in their daily lives. The four styles are permissive parenting, authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting and uninvolved parenting.
Of the four parenting styles, the fourth is clearly the worst and borders on neglect. Let’s focus on the first three different styles and define what each of them mean.
Permissive Parenting. While many parents have different parenting styles, this is a style that can be very damaging to children when taken to an extreme. Parents who use this style overindulge their kids and set few rules.
The lenience with which they treat their children often leads to misbehavior and characterizations of spoiled. A child who always needs, and is used to getting their way, can find social interaction difficult. While many parents want to give children opportunities and things they didn’t have, there is a limit.
Children, who always get what they want, never really end up satisfied with what they have and tend to be unhappy. Don’t avoid confrontation with your child, the word “no” can be used sometimes and try to modify your parenting by incorporating different styles.
Authoritarian Parenting. This is the least flexible of the parenting styles. Authoritarian parents expect their rules and order to be followed without explanation and impose consequences if they are not followed precisely.
This is the style most likely to foster rebellion as children chafe under the confines of often overprotective and intrusive parents. While this parenting style is strict and overbearing for many children, some children do well under this parenting style while others lack confidence and maturity. While it is not to be dismissed entirely, it should be used sparingly.
Authoritative Parenting. This style is the most family centered. Parents who use this style include their children in decision making about things that affect them and are patient in explaining rules and consequences for not following family rules.
While authoritative parents expect their children to follow rules, they are more flexible than authoritarian parents and endeavor to teach greater responsibility and self sufficiency to their children. As you can probably guess, this is the most recommended of the parenting styles. However, it is also probably the hardest to master; it takes patience, time and energy.
Uninvolved Parenting. This really isn’t one of the different parenting styles and it certainly isn’t recommended but it is unfortunately all too common. Uninvolved parents do not set rules or limits for their children and don’t spend time with them or participate in their lives.
This is the worst type of parent and very damaging to children. If you feel you are an uninvolved parent, you don’t need to give up hope, there is still time to change and improve the situation for your children. Get involved in their lives, set rules and expectations and impose consequences if they are not followed. Your children will thank you later.
Each one of these parenting styles, except for uninvolved parenting, has merits and weaknesses. There is a time for strict rules and also a time to negotiate rules and consequences with your children.
There is a time to spoil them and a time to punish them. Whichever of these different parenting styles you use or aspire to, remember that the most important thing you can give your child is love and support.
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