The Ferber Method: Is it Right for You?
“Any parent knows that putting a baby to sleep can be an exhausting undertaking.”
“Any parent knows that putting a baby to sleep can be an exhausting undertaking.”
The Ferber Method can help stop those endless trips up the stairs to soothe your crying baby. Too many trips can break even the most dedicated parents as sleepless nights take their toll. While there are many sources of advice and suggestions of help, one of the best known experts in this field is Richard Ferber.
Richard Ferber is the director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children’s Hospital in Boston and wrote a book detailing the his method for putting a child to sleep called Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems.
The Ferber method is based upon teaching a baby to soothe themselves to sleep. This method could also be referred to as cry it out. It advocates teaching a child to cry it out or soothe himself to sleep when he is emotionally and physically ready.
Your child will be ready for the method between the ages of 4 to 6 months. This method is not meant to be cruel but rather to teach the baby how to go to sleep on her own. This is an important skill for both your child’s and your own happiness.
When using the method it is important that a child be given a warm, loving bedtime routine that is meant to reassure him. You then put the child in their crib awake and leave them. Your child will cry the first time, the second time and maybe long after it.
The method advocates waiting a set amount of time before responding to your baby’s cries. This time increases each night you use the method. When you respond to your baby’s cries, you should soothe them, comfort them and calm them with pats your voice and other gestures. You are not to pick them up or feed them.
After your baby is calm, you then leave the room again and return after the same period of time. After a couple of nights of this, many babies learn to go to sleep on their own and realize that crying won’t get them what they want; a ticket out of the crib!
The Ferber method has been met with both criticism and controversy for its cruel approach in letting a child cry. The method does not advocate endless crying but rather controlled periods of crying with a lot of comfort, soothing and concern in between.
A baby should never be left to endlessly cry in the crib until they finally collapse with exhaustion into sleep. This strategy is not part of the method and is not approved of by Dr. Ferber
This method is not for everyone, it is difficult. Most parents are naturally inclined to respond to a baby’s cry, it takes a lot of willpower to listen to your baby cry even for a short amount of time. Some parents simply will not be able to use this method to implement successful sleep. That’s okay, there are a lot of other approaches out there and many babies eventually figure it out on their own anyway.
Moreover, you don’t have to rigidly follow the seven day Ferber method plan laid out in the book. You can modify the method to meet your or your baby’s needs. Don’t be afraid of the Ferber method, it can be a good way for many babies to learn the tools they need to sleep through the night. A sleeping baby makes everyone happy!
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