Love and Logic Parenting Uncovered
“The goal of love and logic parenting is to help children develop responsibility while making parenting fun.”
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There are so many different parenting styles out there, sometimes it can be hard to figure out what approach works best for you and your family.
This system of parenting has been written about and advanced by educator Jim Fay, a former school principal and child psychologist Charles Fay, PhD and child physiatrist Foster Cline, MD.
The idea behind this parenting system is that parents create an atmosphere of love, acceptance and empathy and let the natural consequences of a child’s behavior teach the child.
The key to this parenting approach is that it is begun at an early age when the consequences of poor choices aren’t too severe or damaging. Trying this approach on a 16 year old with a driver’s license is a lot more dangerous than a 4 year old with a Barbie doll.
Love and logic parenting isn’t about choices without limits. Children still have to conform to appropriate expectations and the range of choices they are presented with should be monitored.
If your third grader has a spelling test and says he doesn’t need to study, the parent using the love and logic System allows the child to make that choice. If a poor grade results, that is the consequence of not studying. If your child is upset about their grade you don’t say “I told you so” or admonish him but rather provide empathy and support.
If you use this parenting technique where you can in your day to day parenting you will hopefully foster responsible decision-making in your child and understanding of the consequences that result from particular decisions. This method, when used in combination with other parenting styles, can be a powerful tool in your parenting arsenal.
Another part of this technique is working on enforceable versus non-enforceable statements. If you tell your child to clean her room now, that is an unenforceable statement. You can’t physically make her do it that minute.
She can lay in her bed for hours, disregard your instructions and come back for another round of fighting about it in a couple of hours. Your child has seized control of the situation because you made a non-enforceable statement.
To turn this demand into an enforceable statement you can say “I’ll take you to soccer practice when your room is clean”. Now you, the parent, are in control. This is a powerful parenting tool that leaves you in control.
Let love and logic parenting helps you regain control of your household and family. Teach your children about good decision-making and responsible choices.
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