Parenting Facts
“Let’s look at parenting facts you’ve heard, and how true they actually are.”
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Most of us go into parenting with firm ideas in mind of how things should be. But expected facts can sometimes turn out to be fiction. Now for some facts about parenting that you have heard and the truths that are behind them:
Good parents always love spending time with their children.
FACT: Every parent was a non-parent at one time. It takes years to evolve into our own likes, dislikes, hobbies and needs. Having someone come in and place a monopoly on our time (even if that someone is absolutely adorable) is a huge adjustment. And as much as you love to kiss, cuddle and play with your little one, you do need time to yourself. Enjoy your baby, but don’t expect to want to be with her 100% of the time. You need to take time out for you.
You can tell how “good” the parent is by looking at the child’s behavior.
FACT: Not always. Your parenting style will have a bearing on your child’s happiness level and behavior, but children are born with their very own personalities and dispositions. It’s a parenting fact that even children raised in the same household, with identical rules and similar experiences, can display drastically different behaviors. Both nature and nurture come into play when it comes to personality development.
Children should be honest and open 100% of the time.
FACT: Honest, yes; open, not necessarily. At some point in your child’s development you’ll begin to realize she’s keeping little “secrets” from you. You may be not only hurt but confused due to the fact that these “secrets” are usually pretty low-key (such a “secret society” where friends meet and discuss boys, makeup and homework).
One parenting fact to keep in mind is that your child needs this small-scale foray into a life without you. It’s all part of growing up and learning to be independent. Obviously, if the secrets seem to be scaring her or you believe they may be dangerous (for instance, you suspect drug or alcohol use), it’s time to intervene.
A family should be a democracy.
FACT: While kids can and should feel a measure of personal control, ultimate authority still should come from the parents. One obvious fact that can easily be forgotten is that kids are just that--kids. They may feel firm convictions, be basically “good” kids and have higher-than-average IQs, but they lack the experience needed to make family decisions.
And surprise--your child doesn’t enjoy controlling you. In fact, experts maintain that children feel uncomfortable when they feel the weight of family decisions rests equally on them. It’s your child’s job to put up a fuss and kick her heels about a decision that she feels “isn’t fair!”--but deep down, she’s terrified of being at the helm. The biggest and most obvious parenting fact of all is that you are the parent; keep this in mind and you’ll always have a firm direction for your family to go, and grow.
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