Single Mother Parenting
“What’s the best-kept single mother parenting secret? Surprise: it’s remembering to put yourself first.”
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“Is single parenting as tough as it looks?” I asked a friend over lunch one day.
“Definitely not,” she answered, “some days it’s tougher.”
She was kidding…in a way. Single mother parenting is one of the most rewarding jobs you’ll ever do. It also has its own unique challenges that can seem overwhelming at times. You’re probably wondering when “me time” comes. Our answer is: today! Get started with the advice below.
The Fine Art of Selfishness
The first rule regarding single mother parenting is that no woman is an island. Today’s woman is bright, resilient and frequently has a career (whether inside the home or at an office or other location) in addition to taking care of her household. But if this describes your situation, you’re all too aware that juggling your responsibilities without a break can be taxing both physically and emotionally.
In order to stay on top of your single mother parenting journey and retain your happiness and a sense of fulfillment, do something surprising: Put yourself first. Yes, you heard us right. Many single parents are so entrenched in taking care of the job, the children, and taking the car for an oil change (or doing it themselves) that it seems counterintuitive to take away from much-needed “busy” time to just relax. But for your own health, as well as your children’s happiness (yes--we mean it!), it’s crucial that you set aside some time, on a regular basis, just for you.
What Should I Do?
Any activity or occupation you find enjoyable and benefits you specifically is an ideal “me time” activity. Taking a bath or reading a magazine are the most oft-cited examples, but if they don’t click for you, try something that does make you happy. How about taking a rock-climbing class? Surfing the internet for an hour for DVDs of your favorite old sitcoms? Do you enjoy cooking? Napping? Calligraphy? Any occupation that gives you a sense of pleasure without thinking about someone else in the process should go on your list of rejuvenating single mother parenting me-time activities.
How Often Should I Do It?
Hold onto your hat…we recommend at least 30 minutes of me time every day. Saturdays, Sundays, holidays, work days--don’t ever skip a “me time” day if at all possible. If this sounds excessive, remember that most of the other people in your life, including your children and quite possibly an ex-spouse, routinely take at least two to three exclusively “me time” hours each and every day.
How Will This Help with My Single Mother Parenting?
If you’re happy and relaxed, your children have a much better chance of being relaxed, too. Children pick up on the feelings of the adults in their lives, and in your situation, where another parent isn’t there to buffer the situation, they’re hyper-aware of your “off” days. Conversely, if you’re basically fulfilled and lack resentment, they’ll feel this, too. And you’re much less likely to resent the difficult times if you realize each day was built for your pleasure too, not just the happiness of those you’re scurrying to take care of.
Single mother parenting is a tough job; give yourself the respect you deserve for accomplishing it. With a little self-care, you can change your environment, make everyone happier than ever before and enjoy your life for the gift it was always meant to be.
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