Dealing with Toddler Temper Tantrums
“Every parent has experienced the horror of toddler temper tantrums. You are not alone!”
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They seem to come at the most inconvenient of times; when you are out at a restaurant, in a grocery store or struggling to maintain control of several unruly children. These temper tantrums can start for the smallest of reasons and create the largest of headaches.
Unfortunately, these tantrums are a part of normal child development. These ear splitting toddler temper tantrums are an expression of your child’s frustration. A toddler’s mental and motor skills develop faster than his or her ability to communicate their wants and desires. As a result, your child’s intense desire to do things and say things is not matched by their ability to express these feelings. You would be frustrated too!
However, all toddler temper tantrums are not created equal! Your child could be genuinely frustrated and have corresponding tantrums or they could be trying to manipulate you. Don’t forget, children are smart and they know how to press a parent’s buttons or get what they want. While frustration is best served by empathy, most temper tantrums require discipline.
It is important for your child to understand that you do not respond to manipulation, so don’t get into a screaming match or otherwise lose your cool when confronted with manipulative tantrums. Your body language, your actions and a calm voice will let your toddler know that this technique will not work on you.
Temper tantrums caused by frustration are usually easy to identify. The most common trigger for this type of tantrum is difficulty completing a task. It could be as simple as difficulty putting on a sock or building a structure with their toys.
The best way to deal with these toddler temper tantrums is to be calm, express concern, show your understanding and provide assistance where appropriate. If your child can’t put on their sock, don’t do it for them but put it on halfway and let your child finish it. Get down to your child’s level and ask them to explain what they want.
Some kids are more prone to temper tantrums than others. Children who are strong willed, have high needs or trouble controlling their emotions are more susceptible to tantrums. These children have more difficulty achieving inner peace and balance and therefore react more dramatically and recover less quickly when things upset them.
While these children may be a handful when they’re young, they also tend to have a lot of wonderful traits that will make them successful adults such as creativity, sensitivity, persistence and determination. The best antidote for these tantrums is vocabulary, so work with your child to develop the words they need to express their problems.
Watch your child for signs that they are losing it, whining is an easy one to identify and try to head off problems before they become true tantrums.
Most importantly, when your child is screaming in the grocery store and everyone is looking at you remember that those looks are empathetic ones and not condescending ones. It’s a fact, toddler temper tantrums are part of life and every parent has experienced them!
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